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Discussion: my strength..my mother

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blondebomb017

blondebomb017		 my strength..my mother
Oct 8 2007, 12:22 AM EDT
I was 10 years old when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer it was in a very late stage so they did an immediate mastomectomy. I remember very few things from when i was that old. I remeber her coming home from her first surgery and she couldnt get out of the car she was crying so much, she said i lost my woman hood. Watching my mother cry, the rock of our family is crushing even now. I did not understand to much then and I jsut thought "mommy was dying", i can't count the number of night i cried my self ot sleep. I had to tell my 5th grade teacher what was wrong becasue I would cry in class and I was afraid my mother would not be home when i got home.
I am 20 years old now and mother's cancer now has spread to her liver.lungs.ribs, spine. I missed my adolesence stage in life , I had to grow up and help take care of things becuase she was to sick. I feel even more helpless now when she cries. I CANT DO ANYTHIGN TO HELP HER! and it kills me, cuz i would do anythign to make her better, anything. She gets so depressed at times she tells says why me, I cant do this kemo any more take all these pills. It is so hard to watch her do all the treatments , test, get new medicines. I hope she knows I would be a mess if she died....i makes me so upset thinkign baout it..i love her so much...I cant tell her how i fell because i dont want her upset so i keep it to myself or write poetry but it doesnt seem to help me.. 2  out of 2 found this valuable. Do you?    
BallinGrl

BallinGrl		 RE: my strength..my mother
Oct 21 2007, 8:26 AM EDT
Hi, I read your story about you & your mom and it's exactly what I've gone through too.. My mom was diagnosed w/ breast cancer 7 yrs ago when I was 13, and it was also very late stage and she had to have a masectomy.. after that and all of the radiation/chemo she was offically cancer free.. until 2004 when the cancer spread to her brain, lungs, and liver, kidney. Since then shes been on countless meds, chemo/radiation, etc.. but through all that, she hasnt improved at all (my mom just turned 50). Just recently in the past few weeks she hasnt been speaking well or eating much and shes always very confused.

I'm 20 now too, and I've been her caretaker w/ my dad for the past yr since shes been bed-ridden.. It's extremely hard to go through something like this, especially when there arent alot of people who can relate to exactly what youre going through.. eventhough I have friends and family who try to sympathize with me, it really doesent help much b/c they have no clue what I go through emotionally since they havent gone through anything as bad as this. I really feel I've lost my adolesence too b/c of all of this.. recently I've found myself crying every night just thinking about my mom and god forbid losing her.. I just really dont know what I'd do, and I have a 13 yr old sister who I really fell so sorry for b/c she has to see our mom in this condition at such a young age. Anyway, I hope this message helps you find some solace knowing that youre not the 20 yr old out there going through this :-) Do you find this valuable?    

Anonymous		 RE: my strength..my mother
Oct 22 2007, 9:01 PM EDT
thanxs so much it is nice to know im not the only one.....hope your mom gets better and you all remain happy and blessed you have each other :) Do you find this valuable?    

Anonymous		 RE: my strength..my mother
Jan 11 2008, 10:41 PM EST
hey there, well im really sorry to hear about your mom, i cant tell you how sad it makes me to hear more and more that people are loosing there mothers, at least you had the chance to spend some time with her, not my case as i lost her when i was really young. your story is really sad and it actually made me remember some bad times, but this is a space for that u know., i kept entering here just to spend some time, sit back and think a little about mom and stuff. well thats all for know, im reallysorry for you and hope to get an answer if u have time. wishing u the best of the best and hoping this post cheer u up! dont be sad, Manuel Do you find this valuable?    

Anonymous		 RE: my strength..my mother
Jan 12 2008, 1:49 AM EST
thanxs maunel! sorry about your mom, i know she is in a better place looking down on you. I appriciate your thoughts. My mom is actually doing better :) thanxs for your words and thoughts may god bless you and your family<3 Do you find this valuable?    

Anonymous		 RE: my strength..my mother
Jan 14 2008, 12:57 AM EST
well, thanks a lot, not only for the reply but also for the space to share my story, you know is strange the way life helps thinks round, first i lost my mom, but my dad was always there for me, until the moment he got an alcoholic. Now he is in AA and he is doing excellent. Well thats all for now, wishing you the best of the best. MANUEL Do you find this valuable?    

Anonymous		 RE: my strength..my mother
Jan 31 2008, 7:52 PM EST
I Know exactly what ye are going through as i was in your situation this time 12 months ago. Mam got breast cancer first 9 years ago when i was 12. She was also in the advance stages of it. But fighted her way through it, and got the all clear. But then it returned 2 years ago. Sadly she passed away last July RIP Mamxxx. I Was 20 also.It is very hard watching you mam stuck in bed and in so much pain and suffering I know what you are feeling because I have been through it. You can help her by just being their, if it is only just to give her a hug. My mam used to have days like you mam when she would say, why me?? or i cant do this. But she used to continue her battle. I missed my teenage years also but looking back on it now they were the best years of my life as I got to spend them with my mam. Your mam will have some good and bad days, but make the most of every one of those days. Not a day goes pass that I dont think of my mother. God Bless all your Family. Hope she will improve. Stay strong. This sight is really good just so yo know there is people out there that knows what you are going through. I know you have friends that support you but they dont understand what you are going through unless they have gone through it themselves. shellxx Do you find this valuable?    
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