The very first thing to do after a cancer diagnosis is to realize that you are not alone -- that we are not alone. There are 26.4 million of us worldwide, and each year another million will hear the same words we did, albeit in many different languages.

And while each of us who gets this diagnosis is going to follow a slightly different path, there is much we have in common, and much we can share with one another. Here are some of our thoughts on how you can begin to create your own roadmap to recovery.

Find focus, fight fear
There's a lot of work to do. You'll need to talk to family and friends, try to understand your diagnosis, evaluate all the treatment options, and begin treatment. And yet it's easy to become overwhelmed by the same fears each of us has experienced. Here are a few suggestions to help smooth the road.

• Realize that this is normal. Some degree of fear, depression, and panic is normal. You'll probably face all of these on a regular, sometimes daily, basis.
  
  Most of us, when newly diagnosed, experiences some form of anxiety or shock - but realize that there are ways to cope with the fear.

• Take a few deep breaths. Know that your diagnosis has not turned you into a walking corpse, no matter whether you've been told your cancer is treatable or terminal.
  
  Today you're alive--and you can stop, think, and act on your own behalf. Don't make assumptions about where you are headed until you have more information.

• Get perspective by getting introspective. Most of us find ourselves re-evaluating our lives and our priorities once we begin to accept our diagnosis.
  
  Take advantage of this urge and think about your life. Evaluate your goals and your values, and set your sights on what you need in order to be happy.

• Don't give your life to the disease. Part of adapting to life with cancer involves maintaining as many of your normal routines as possible. Keep going to the gym and don't stop going for that weekly manicure or monthly massage. Stay as active as possible, and keep your eye on the prize -- you still have a lot of living to do!

Harness the power of knowledge
Get informed. Learn about cancer in general, and specifically about the type of cancer in your body. Research different treatment options, complementary therapies and healthy lifestyle habits. All of these steps will help you take control at a time when it may feel like you have no control. Knowing what's happening to your body will help you figure out how best to fight your disease.

• Ask questions, take notes You're in the midst of an emotional trauma, and expecting yourself to not only take in but remember the reams of information you're going to be bombarded with is unreasonable. Give yourself a break. Keep a pad and paper with you, or turn on a tape recorder.

• Create a health-care "dream team". The doctor who diagnosed your cancer is only one of many health professionals who will be supporting you.
  
  In addition to your family and friends (who are a crucial part of your health-care team), you may need oncologists, nurses, social workers, and psychologists, not to mention nurses' aides, home-care professionals, nutritionists and clergy. Take the time to choose the best people in your corner.

• Become an expert in your cancer. You'll never feel confident about where you're headed without knowing the details of the type of cancer you have and what stage it has reached. In addition to the knowledge of your medical team, you'll find a vast array of online resources. Take advantage of them.

• Seek a second opinion. It's critical that you feel well-informed and confident about your decisions. Your doctor is a professional and won't be insulted if you seek a second (or even a third) opinion about your treatment options. And if he or she does mind? Tough. It's your body and you ultimately own the decisions about what happens to it.

• Get to know your HMO. Dealing with financial and insurance issues is, unfortunately, a critical component of getting the care you'll need. For most of us, it was only after our diagnosis that we began to really look at our insurance plans -- to figure out what services are covered, what the reimbursement procedures are, and more.
  
  Your first step: Find out who to call in your doctor’s office or at your hospital when your insurance company has a question about a procedure or specific charge.

Make the connection
Talking with friends and family about what we're going through can sometimes be difficult. This is your disease, your life. Telling people -- who you tell, when you tell, what you tell -- all of that is up to you. But keep in mind that having support makes the journey through cancer much easier and often more successful.

Also, realize that cancer creates an instant connection between you and the millions of us who have been (or are) where you are right now. Let us be one of your resources -- to reassure you that what you're going through, what you're feeling, is normal and natural.

We want to share our stories with you to make it easier and hopefully, in time, you'll share your story as well. We're all here to help one another fight the battle.

See also

• Coping with fear
• An introduction to cancer
• Telling people
• Building a support network