A cancer diagnosis can change the way we express our love for each other. The stress of treatments can reduce the desire or ability to have sex. Most people find that their sex life improves once they begin to regain their good health.

What to expect

Some of us will experience a drastic drop in our urge to have sex, while others will hardly notice a difference. Our age, general health, and type and length of treatments all can affect sexual desire.

Some side effects of treatments include:

• Infertility
  

• Lowered sperm count
  

• Reduced ability to produce certain hormones
  

• Sustained damage to ovaries
  

• Irregular or halted menstrual periods
  

• False menopause, characterized by hot flashes or vaginal discomfort
  

• Painful intercourse

• Vaginal infections

Dealing with impotence

The reality is that most of us will emerge from treatment having some degree of difficulty getting an erection. The good news it that each of us has options should we face impotence -- in fact, several of them. None of us has to simply accept any degree of impotence as the price we've had to pay for our lives.

If you, too, are having this sort of problem, here are some of the things you can try:

• Erectile dysfunction medications such as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis
  

• Intracavernous injection therapy, in which drugs are injected into the penis before intercourse
  

• Vacuum constriction devices, which draw blood into the penis to cause an erection
  

• Penile suppositories, in which medication is delivered to the penis by being placed in the urethra
  

• Penile implants, which are surgically implanted and can often be inflated and deflated.

Understanding loved ones
We need love and loving relationships now more than ever. Yet, many of us will feel “unlovable” because we’ve lost all of our hair or have absolutely no interest in sex. When we’re not in the mood to have sex, just hold us.

We can live without sex, but it's very hard to live without love. Women may feel unlovable because they have lost a breast. Men who have survived prostate cancer may feel unlovable because they are now impotent or their erections aren’t as stiff as before.

At these times, we need to be held and touched more frequently. Significant others, tell us you love us more often -- and mean it. That will mean more to us that all the chemo treatments in the world.

See also

• Managing side effects
  
• Hair loss
• Loss of appetite
• Fatigue or anemia
• Skin and nail changes