We are not alone in our battle with cancer. Nearly 1.3 million men and women are fighting alongside us. They are facing the same anxieties, fears, and life-altering decisions. Their futures, too, are unknown. They know how we feel.

When we are first diagnosed, each one of us finds ourself at a critical juncture. If that's where you are today, you are going to have to work to develop a support system that will nurture you, respect your feelings, and see you through the muck and mire of cancer into the bright sunshine of recovery.

The worst thing you can do now is retreat into a cave. Be good to yourself.

Support groups rock!
One of the first things you'll want to do is find a support group in your community for people with cancer -- preferably, for people struggling with the same kind of malignancy you have. Usually, these support groups meet at local hospitals. Doctors, nurses and hospital social workers can direct you to support groups led by doctors, nurses or other people with cancer.

A support group will certainly help you wrestle with the feelings of anger, guilt, blame, and hopelessness you may be feeling. But these groups do more than just provide emotional support, they:

• Give first-hand advice on the best doctors in your area
• Educate you about the treatment options that have had the most success
• Recommend the best ways to manage side effects

Hearing that your oncologist is considered to be the greatest thing since the invention of antibiotics will go a long way to soothing your fears; learning that your doctor isn't widely admired may help you find someone better suited to your needs.

Don’t forget that your family is battling cancer, too. Your spouse, parents, children, or siblings may need help dealing with their fears of losing you, and may be struggling with the life disruptions and financial worries cancer can bring.

Keep in mind that there are often support groups for families, too, and urge yours to feel free to turn to one for advice and encouragement.

Launch into cyberspace
Cyberspace is crammed with people with cancer who are seeking to connect with people just like them -- people like us. That, after all, is what got wikiCancer started in the first place.

In addition to this site, there are many other sources of support -- message boards, mailing lists, blogs, books and more are strewn about the internet, waiting for you to explore them, to see if you feel a connection.

The great advantage of cyberspace is that it transcends geographic bounds. On this Web site and others, you'll read about the experiences of others around the globe, and in turn, you can share your story with people who would otherwise never have the chance to meet you.

One caution: surfer beware! Be careful about believing everything you read on the internet. Be a discriminating information consumer. If it seems too good -- or too odd, or too outlandish -- to be true, it may well be. Take ideas from the Web, but follow them up with advice from people you know and trust.

See also

• Building a support network
• Other sources of support
• Feedback on other cancer sites
• Feedback on online mailing lists